Raising a child – as many parents will agree – is not an easy task.
The most important thing that a conscious parent can do is take care of his or her own spirit. When you as a parent are off balance, then your children learn that as the rule. This is especially true for the mother, the woman, when she is not centered; the whole family is off center. Yogi Bhajan said that the most important thing for a woman was to meditate. Yes, but what to do when you don’t have time to sit down and meditate?!
The key is in making your whole life a meditation. I understood it during the first year(s) of taking care of my son, when sometimes I didn’t even have time for a toilet break or to have a shower.
My service of him became my meditation. Instead of doing it angry and wishing I was in the next room doing my yoga, I surrendered to this new stage of life. My yoga and my meditation became a wonderful seva. Although myself tired, hungry or angry, I decide every moment to act from a point of love and compassion. Because I know that if I explode, so will my house. And it will take a lot more energy to bring it back into balance. Breath and chant while doing dishes, while cleaning the floors, while putting them to bed, while getting dressed, while walking back home after a long day. There are really 24 full hours of meditation waiting to be discovered!
So it is important to deal with every aspect that happens inside of you as a parent. We are the example for our children: whatever we do they will imitate. More than an example, we are the image of God for our children. You just have to go back and remember how you saw your mother, your father when you were a baby. They were perfect, even though their actions were not perfect (when judged by the adult you). Because you saw them as God themselves.
I remember thinking my father knew absolutely everything in this world. Any question I would have, he knew the answer. During the first years (specifically during the formative 0–11 years, the first cycle of intelligence), a child’s consciousness and intelligence is the responsibility of the parents.
As parents, we have a huge responsibility, which can only be done conscious when we surrender and we connect to our own souls. We are the image of God (Akal Moorat), but we are not God himself. We must have a haven ourselves, an inner place to retreat and to exhaust our heavy load. Meditation, breathing, believing in something/someone higher than myself, bowing to that wisdom, clearing my subconscious and having an altar at home are all ways of acknowledging that.
Children, when they grow older, will learn that they too, can have something to hold on to during turbulent times. Yogi Bhajan reminded us as parents that we are Guru Dev Mata and Guru Dev Pita – the transparent teachers, mother and father. We must stand to that standard and be like God, behave like God, act like God, communicate like God, love like God and forgive like God. Yet we must also understand that our influence is limited (specially as they grow older) and we can bring them to the door, but they have to cross for themselves, with all the tools we gave them in the formative years. In other words, ”Let go and let God” (Yogi Bhajan).
The practice of Kundalini yoga is key to becoming a conscious parent. Only being conscious and ”catching ourselves”, forgiving ourselves, and keeping up, we can give our children the foundation on which the rest of their lives will be built: trust, (self)discipline, containment, love, kindness, values and a connection with the infinite.
”Allow your children to be, and give them the basic spiritual values. Deal with their spirits. Elevate them, keep them up and give them faith. These are the positive things they mostly need” – Yogi Bhajan